Park your car in the living room and let the engine run while the kids watch Sesame Street. Shelly used the campfire as an example but a Citroën or a tobacco-smoking fiend who has no regard for the health, not to mention the inconvenience and disrespect of others (family, friends, cats, dogs, hamsters, caged birds and various exotic fish), serves equally well.

An automobile kills me when I step into the crosswalk against the light -- your g'damned cigarettes kill me each time you light one up in a closed room and I'm there to share the experience.

Smoke at your own risk. And while you are doing it, stand as far away from the innocent as possible. I, for one, don't wish to join in your game of Russian roulette.

And besides that you smell bad and you make the rest of us stink -- our hair, clothing, furniture. Paint peels!

I'd say go smoke in the woods but that would be a disservice to the skunks.